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Entry #1

The Lonely Loner

2009-09-04 23:32:23 by Nickapassa

He just stands there, looking down.
Hands in his big black sweater's pockets.
Long red hair over his eyes.
Standing, quiet as the long dead.
A breeze rolls along his hair sways to the soft breeze.
He's quiet, still as a dead clock's second hand.
His black jacket hoody doesn't move.
The lonely loner walks away, hands still in his pockets.
Not showing emotion, quiet, still as the dead.

By me.


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2009-09-04 23:36:51

Nice Job, but I have to admit. It doesn't have a sad quality to it, which is what I'm guessing was your intent. Instead, it seems to be boring. Still, I can see the skill.

Nickapassa responds:

No, I was going for a mysterious effect, but thanks.


2009-09-04 23:55:41

Emo kid.

Nickapassa responds:

Nah, I just don't talk much. Why would you say that?